Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Billy Rubin, BL'AST! and the Bad Brains...


Bad Brains in Santa Barbara. Mouse is in this picture too. You can see the other half of her. This might be the single best hardcore show I have ever been to. Photo: Billy Rubin

Billy Rubin drops a bomb on us with BL'AST! and the Bad Brains. This is heavy... -Gordo DCXX


Way back in November of '86 or '87 Vadim Rubin and Jim Burke got wind of a show that was going on at the Westside Community Center in Santa Barbara. The Bad Brains were going to be in town and better yet, BL'AST was going to open for them. I am not going to type that apostrophe for the rest of this story...forgive me. Santa Barbara is a long way from Long Beach and you have to drive through terrible traffic to get there on a weekday, but the three of us decided to go up there in my Toyota Tercel.


We had all seen both bands before, but lets face it, nothing compares to seeing the Bad Brains. I still remember the first time I saw the Bad Brains. They came on stage and played "Coptic Times," "Attitude" and "We Will Not" back to back without so much as a pause between each song and then HR did a backflip like he was in the Matrix or something. He made it look that easy. I was about 16 at the time and I knew right then (3 songs into their set) that this was something I needed more of. I also remember seeing BLAST a zillion times. To this day, when I listen to "The Power of Expression" (which I actually have on CD from when it got re-released on SST) I go absolutely nuts during the drum break/bridge between "Time to Think" and "Surf and Destroy." That is what hardcore is all about.

As we drove up to Santa Barbara we listened to the Bad Brains ROIR tape on my piece of crap car stereo and got ourselves pumped up for the show. When we arrived, we realized this was going to be a unique show. Santa Barbara is one of the prettiest cities in all of California and the Westside Community Center was a beautiful building. It didn't seem possible that a dirty, gritty punk rock show could happen here. When we got inside the place it was weird...The bouncers and security that you found at a typical show were all missing. Even stranger was the stage. It didn't have a big drop off down to the floor. It had three or four steps. We started to get excited at the prospects of getting up on stage.


Me and BLAST. Notice I am wearing intentionally randomly bleached jeans, a Walk Together Rock Together shirt and combat boots. I think it is from backstage at Fender's. I am holding up an ancient tape recorder (to block the light). I had just interviewed them. There is a pair of sexy lady legs going across Clifford's lap. Those legs belong to a woman named "Mouse". She was a photographer from back then. She used to follow BLAST around because she also took skateboarding pics.

There were some differences with BLAST that we noticed as they started to set up. They had a new guitar player in the band. It was Kip from NEON CHRIST. NEON CHRIST was one of those bands that put out a 7" that was on every record collector's want list. Kip was different from the rest of the band...he is black! We thought it was a trip that we were seeing a hardcore show with so many black people in the bands in such a white city. The other difference was that Bill from BLAST had a new drum kit. It was this big silver Ludwig kit with a massive bass drum. His snare was huge too. It was as deep as most toms. As BLAST was warming up, when he hit that snare, it scared me. Like when a car backfires! His kit was really similar to Bill Stevenson's (Black Flag) in the Live '84 video.

When BLAST started playing I knew right away that before the night was over I was going to be hoarse and my ears would be ringing for days. I really didn't care. BLAST played an absolutely incredible set that was highlighted by an awesome version of "Our Explanation."

There was another band that played that night but I can't remember who it was. During that "other" band's set Vadim, Jim and I recovered and got ready for the Bad Brains. Over the years I had met the Bad Brains a few times. I met Darryl about a year earlier at a place called Camel Records in Huntington Beach (Beach Blvd and Adams). This is a strange side story, but this guy Matt that was friends with Casey Jones called me and told me that the Bad Brains were going to make an appearance at Camel Records. Matt was into cycling and he rode his bicycle over there and I drove to meet Matt. As it turned out, Darryl was into cycling and he spent the whole time out in front checking out Matt's bike and talking about a ride Matt had done across the country.

Not long after that, the Bad Brains played at Fender's and I used my previous intro to Darryl to get back stage and hang out with them at Fender's. Anyone that remembers Fender's will remember that there was no backstage accept for a little room to the left of the stage (as you're facing it). I was the first straight edge kid to get a massive contact high from being in that teeny room with the Bad Brains from all the dope they were smoking. I really couldn't understand most of what they said and I suppose I lost my edge (heh heh) but it was worth it.


Bad Brains in Santa Barbara, Photo: Billy Rubin

Back to the show in Santa Barbara...I brought my camera to this show and used my rapport with the Bad Brains (and the fact that there were a few little steps up to the stage) to land a spot on the side of the stage to take pics. By the time the Bad Brains started playing, this pretty little Westside Community Center was full of dirty punks. The Bad Brains played an incredible set that included some "I Against I" material way before "I Against I" came out. About half way through their set, the cops busted into the place and were hanging around in the back. I was up on stage, and I could see that more and more cops kept coming in. Finally one of the cops (I guess he was in charge) came up on stage to shut the show down. This is when something totally strange happened.

When the cop started telling HR that they had to stop, HR spoke to the cop in a completely normal voice. He didn't sound like a rastafarian...he sounded like me...or for that matter, my Dad. HR told the cop (in a perfectly normal voice) that if they didn't keep playing there would probably be a riot. He reasoned with the cop and finally persuaded him to let the Bad Brains finish their set. The next song the Bad Brains played was "Riot Squad." We went completely nuts!

That night, on the three hour drive home in my shitty Toyota Tercel, we couldn't stop talking about what an incredible show it was. Years later, when "I Against I" came out I was going ape shit listening to it in that same Toyota Tercel and I ran a red light and totaled the car. I remember that even after the crash, "I Against I" was still playing on the cassette deck.


The infamous Toyota Tercel, Photo: Billy Rubin

61 comments:

D. Sine said...

Great story.

Mi Impact said...

Yo the Turning Point poll results so far are total bullshit. I like everything TP did but c'mon the demo getting spanked by the clenched shirt, fall to the knees, people padding their chests songs? If you were smart you'd get my fucking point!

Anonymous said...

Biily I call TOTAL BULLSHIT on your story. An A for effort though punk in trying to "put yourself in the scene" during that era. Now go shoot some guns and eat some pussy for the big pat on the back you're hoping for.

WHO WRITES YOUR RULES.... BEEEEYOOOOOOOTTTCHHHHH

Ben Edge said...

Good story. I lived in Santa Barbara for four years, and I have no idea where that community center is/was.

Bl'ast! = heaviest band I've ever seen.

Songs I've gotten into car wrecks while listening to:

Bad Religion - We're Only Gonna Die (coincidence?)

Swiz - I forget which song

The Dickies - She (my car flipped twice on the freeway, and the music was definitely not still going when we stopped)

Anonymous said...

Thank you, please, more BL´AST memories!

str8ev said...

awesome story

Anonymous said...

great stories billy!!!
please...MORE BL'AST!
got anymore good live BL'AST! pictures billy???
i remember seeing BL'AST!,
agent orange, mentors and virulence at a club in santa barbara. great show as well.

Anonymous said...

I Against I came out in 1987, so either you are getting the dates wrong or the record did not come out a few years after this show.

Billy said...

I believe the show was in 1986...In fact it was on November 26th, 1986 at the West Side Community Center 423 West Victoria, Santa Barbara. The refernce to the release of "I Against I" being years later is an exageration. I apologize for not being more specific. What can I say? It was 23 years ago.

Isaac Golub said...

Never was a fan of Blast, I feel sorta guilt for thinking they sucked. I tried but crazy tempo changes kept me from getting my groove on.

Does anyone remember the band Mock? Sort of a Blast rip off and I think they all wore Referee costumes on stage? Or did I dream that?

If anyone wants to buy my Blast Power of Expression on Wishing Well hit me up.

Anonymous said...

isaac = suck...BL'AST! kills!

Jake Jacobs said...

I Against I = hardcore masterpiece.

One time, while driving home to OC from my best friend Chad's place in Hollyweird at 3 or 4 in the morning, I briefly fell asleep at the wheel and got side-swiped on the driver's side by somebody. Miraculously, only the driver's side mirror was damaged. That could've been it for me. I don't remember what was playing in the tapedeck but it was probably Sabbath (natch).

Great post, Billy. Keep 'em comin'!

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Isaac. I've tried to get into BL'AST a few times over the year and was always left with the feeling they were just latter era Black Flag clone, but without the talent. I figure Greg Ginn released their records on SST as a part of his ego trip.

Fuck You! Thats My Name! said...

Jake Jacobs wlll you please for the love of GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP?

Right now the saddest day in history is that you didn't really DIE after falling asleep at the wheel.

Will you tell me the exact date this happened? I want to make sure from now on I always wear black on that day.

Tim I apologize in advance for being mean again...BUT JESUS CHRIST THAT DUDE IS AN IDIOT! I MEAN REALLY?? HOLLYWEIRD?? BAAAAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAA HOLLYWEIRD BAWWWW HAAAA HAAA HAAAA

FUCK OFF!

Jake Jacobs said...

I guess this is as good a place as any to confess this - I honestly don't think I've ever heard BL'AST in my entire life.

Get AIDS said...

I normally think "Fuck You! That's My Name!" is being a bit harsh on Jake Jacobs, but in this instance I completely agree.

Your story sucked Jake. No one cares. Seriously. So off-topic is mind-blowing. Save it for your therapist.

Benj said...

If you skated in the 80's you did. Santa Cruz's first 2 videos were peppered with BL'AST songs.

Bill "Nego" Case said...

The yellow TERCEL! That was one classy ride Billy! Seeing that thing brought back some memories.

Bill "Nego" Case said...

Oh, and you are correct Billy. "I Against I" was released in 1986.

Josh said...

Great story Billy. You've officially become my favorite contributor to DxCx. I also think guys are a little harsh on Jake Jacobs. I don't know him, but I always thought ICE was pretty damn funny. Saw them 3 times in the early 90's once even opening up for Rage Against The Machine.

Anyway keep up the good work guys.

Joey said...

BL'AST! were a great band. I used to love seeing them play, plus I would always walk away with a huge stack of BL'AST!, Independent, and Santa Cruz stickers. My only issue with the band was some of their lame friends from Santa Cruz that tried to hard to seem crazy.

Mock were also from Santa Cruz and Clifford's brother sang for them, at least in the early stages, not sure about later on. Definitely a BL'AST!-lite type of band, but nice guys.

Jake Jacobs said...

Thanks for the kind words, Josh.

And speaking of ICE, they'll be playing their first show in 15 years with Blackspot, Headfirst, A Chorus of Disapproval and No For An Answer (yes, I'm serious) at Chain Reaction in Anaheim, CA on 3/22/09. Tickets available here - https://www.vendini.com/ticket-software.html?%20e=f5fce94cb2ab3e8c10fd115415f0aa1f&t=tix

Anonymous said...

Jake, will you do some stupid horrible rap at the beginning of Ice's set like at Pitzer?

Homosexual.

And for the record Jake's name is Andrew.

Shut up.

Anonymous said...

Wait I'm confused I thought Evan sang for ICE? Who's Andrew??

Isaac Golub said...

Oh Evan does sing for Ice, but I think what that tool was referring too was at an Ice show his brother Jake got up and did a little rap for some reason maybe to impress Zach de la Roacha, dunno.

The rap was lame, but funny lame.

Jake sold out the H.O.T.S for a girl but it's cool, he married her. He can be a nuisance but he's a good guy and means well.

And Fuck You That's My Name...? You are a straight pussy.

Fuck You! That's My Name! said...

A pussy huh? Well Ike I'd rather be a pussy then an edge breaker! Have fun singing "Justice" knowing that it's about people like yourself.

I KNOW, I KNOW IKE this "show" is so little about you and is only about raising $1.99 for "cancer research"

ALSO Jake Jacobs = TOTAL FAGGOT! Rapping to impress ZACK????? WHAT A TOTAL FUCKING ASS CLOWN!

Jake Jacobs said...

Nez, in all fairness, the rap was just LAME (all caps).

Thanks for the props though.

Joe Nelson said...

Dear FU Guy,

Here’s what I find funny/ironic about your anti Isaac rant, and pretty much you in general. You obviously know who Isaac is, know his songs, his band, etc. That places you somewhere in your 30’s. That means you are a 30 + year old , who reads this blog seemingly every single minute, since you comment on pretty much every story. You are also visibly upset at the idea that possibly Chorus isn’t entirely a straight edge band these days. I mean seriously how PATHETIC is that? A 30 + year old man, who reads Double Cross religiously, and is totally shaken up because a band from 1990 is playing a reunion show, and may not be entirely the same people as when they were 20.

You on the other hand seem like you are the EXACT same person as when you were 16 and X’ed up. I can totally picture you singing along to “Justice” in your car, or bedroom. I know I’m not far off either when I picture you pretending in your own little mind that it’s actually you singing the song on stage. Don’t lie! You we’re totally a dude, who listened to other people’s songs, like Chorus’s and envisioned that you were actually the singer, and not just the lame dork fan that you STILL ARE!! I also wonder if you ever gave fake interviews to your self? You seem like the type.

So “FU , what was tour like?”

You to yourself “Fun, playing with Strife was great, It was good to see all our old friends on the road ( even though you have never toured, nor have any real friends)

How far off am I? Not far huh?

Anyway 30 year old dork, keep on bashing away at your ex-heroes like Isaac., or picking on dudes like Jake Jacobs, who BTW isn’t afraid to say what’s on his mind no matter how it comes across, instead of hiding under a tough guy moniker such as FU That’s ME! Or whatever your fake name is. Just remember the person you really hate is in the mirror.

I know, I KNOW I suck too, I’m a FAGGOT, I am stuck in the 80’s….and Blah…Blah…..Blah….BLAH!!!

XOXOX,

Joe

Anonymous said...

So “FU , what was tour like?”

You to yourself “Fun, playing with Strife was great, It was good to see all our old friends on the road ( even though you have never toured, nor have any real friends)

HA, HA, HA ,HA, HA, HA,

Amazing!

Isaac Golub said...

Damn. Someone just a sorely deserved kick in the balls. Nice. And that came from a guy who really doesn't like me much, thanks Joe.

But in all seriousness:

Look FU, if you just need someone to talk to about your issues I will be there for you, seriously. I may or may not have been to as many hardcore shows as other people, I may or may not be edge any more, I may or may not be as hard as some dudes, but I am a good listener and can be a good friend. I am an older dude and know a few things, not a lot, but I know how to listen and would be happy to help in anyway I can. At the very least I could suggest a counselor in your area to help with the denial and abandonment you are feeling. Contact me friend, I know you know how too.

I would have sent this by way of a more private avenue but your little name thing surprisingly is blocked.

Please friend, contact me and lets talk.

Ike.

P.S. I know no one asked but Justice is not a song about Straightedge, believe it or not there were only 4 out of about 20 Chorus songs that were about Straightedge(if it even matters one way or another). Come on, give me at least a little credit?

Derick said...

Just an irrelevant question on the sub-story about Camel Records...I wonder if this bicycling Matt is the same guy I used to work with at a bike store in Newport Beach. He was into hardcore as well and used to have some crazy stories about when he was in the military doing HALO jumps. He also used to be one of the Honor Gaurds at the tomb of the unknown soldier. Great, cool guy.

FUck You! That's My Name! said...

Yeah that’s it! You sure got me on that one FAGGOT! I can tell you this much, the only thing I wasn’t pretending to be was the singer of one of your GOD AWFUL bands. Seriously though why don’t you go hold Walters jock strap for a while ROADIE!

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?????? BOOOOOO YAAAHHHHHHH!!!

As for you Isaac. I’m done making fun of you, you’re too easy, and predictable. I appreciate you …ummm….clarifying what the song “Justice” is about though , no really I do.

“.There are only 4 Straight edge songs out of 20 guys” Really? Who the fuck are you kidding? Yourself obviously? The whole point of your band was militant straight edge, for you to try and revise your history cause you’re now an EDGE BREAKER! Is a fucking JOKE!

BUT….IT’S JUST SO GOOD WHEN IT HITS THE LIPS!

FUCK YOU!

Jake Jacobs said...

At this point, I gotta mention this little Isaac nugget from '94...

On the same day of the infamous O.J. Simpson slow speed Bronco chase, Chorus played a show at Old World in H.B. Before one of the songs (unfortunately, I don't remember which one), he said "this song goes out to O.J. Simpson - he killed his wife and her boyfriend but he didn't kill himself". I believe that makes Ike the very first person to publicly declare O.J. guilty.

Joe Nelson said...

Good idea! I think I will hold “Walters jockstrap” down in Australia for the next 2 weeks. After all it is summer there, and not only a free trip, but I get paid to pretty much surf, watch some bands, hang with the Aussies, and …GASP…party with my friends. I guess it pays to be a part-time “roadie” sometimes. Seriously though you keep on doing whatever boring waste of life job you do, while I’m away living life. I will also rest assured that no matter how much fun I’m having you will be sitting at at some computer all fucking day, and punching yourself in the face over all those blasted “Edge Breakers” out there in the world.

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I only the only one who gives a shit about the rules?

Shomer Shabbos…..SHOMER FUCKING SHABBOS!!

Fuck You! That's My Name! said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!! You might be a bigger LOSER then Isaac if that’s even possible. WOW a “part time roadie” for Rival Schools? That must pay well. What do you do in your off time, work at McDonalds? It has to be the same amount of $$. What a total TOOL!

FYI my, “waste of life job” happens to pay me, about $65,000 a year. Maybe one day if you’re lucky you can make that kinda bread FAGGOT, but I doubt it! Seriously though you have some “real” fun down there drinking it up with the other edge breakers loser. I think The Descendents actually wrote a song about you guys once it’s called HURTIN CRUE!

GOD WHAT A FAGGOT YOU ARE!

Anonymous said...

Remember when Ray of Today got that girl pregnant while he was married and tried to hush hush the abortion? Remember when Porcell stayed out in Cali after their tour, grew his hair out and started smoking weed (and then the scene welcomed him back with open arms, and now he is peddling SXE gear on myspace)? Remember when Walter was doing X while he was in GB? Remember when Sammy used to sell drugs? Remember when Mike Judge sent Rev. the Old Smoke tapes and when they opened it a huge plume of weed odor came out? Remember when Kevin and that guitar player from Insted both sold out (and you were at most of those reunion shows I'm sure)?

I do, so FUCK YOU Mr. FU!!!

You would go to and have gone to any and all of those reunion shows for those scumbag bands, you hypocrite cunt!

I don't care if Issac is edge or not, one thing he is not is a SCUMBAG like those dudes. No wonder you were at all those reunions, birds of a feather and all.....

He even offered you what I can only assume is legit help which you obviously need. So good luck with your student loans or whatever.... Let me guess you probably take Ju Jitsu or some shit to try prove to yourself how hard you are?

This is not hardcore, and this is not hardcore pride. I am ashamed of you and myself for stooping so low.

Joe Nelson said...

OMG.. you did not try to just burn me by saying you make $65,000 annually? You’re definitely right guy, I don’t think I come close to making that for a living. ummmm…..the defense rests your honor!

fuck You! That's My Name! said...

My bad, I meant to say $165,000 a year. Whatever, even I make mistakes sometimes. You’re still a FAGGOT, and a HACK writer regardless. As for that novel above your comment. Ummm whatever!

Anyway I have a half day, like any “real” company has so I’m out of here. You losers enjoy the rest of the afternoon cleaning my farts off your FAGGOT faces. I hope you also enjoy sucking each others dicks tomorrow for Valentines Day!

Anonymous said...

FU, read this. Cash your paycheck, spit at your pathetic reflection, and remember that you accomplished nothing, touched no one, created nothing, and seriously are a sad dried up piece of shit on the well groomed lawn of life.

Your cubicle and 65k a year could NEVER be as fun or rewarding as 2 weeks in Australia with friends and music.


SOB STORY- Minor Threat
Life's not been good for you,
It's just not fair.
You did nothing to deserve it
You did nothing at all
Sit back and watch
It turns from bad to worse
No matter how loud you cry
It always hurts

BOY I'M GLAD I'M NOT IN YOUR SHOES

HOW COULD THINGS
GET ANY WORSE FOR YOU?
YOU'RE SO FUCKING ALONE
HOW COULD THINGS
GET ANY WORSE FOR YOU?
I DON'T BLAME YOU
WHEN YOU PISS AND MOAN

Everybody gets
What you should've got
Everybody takes
Your opportunities
Everybody gets
The breaks that belonged to you
Everybody takes
Your just desserts

Life's not been good for you
It's just not fair
I've got some news for you
Nothing is fair
I wish there was a way
To make it all better
I pray for a way
To make you happy
Cause I'm sick and I'm tired
Of your whining, complaining, bitching and moaning.... Boo FUCKING HOO!

Joe Nelson said...

HA! Nice try! “I slipped up…I meant I make….ummm 165K a year:” Drrrrttttttt.

I knew it was only a matter of time before you fucked up and totally burned yourself. Today FRIDAY THE 13th happens to be your unlucky day buddy! Seriously though, enjoy your “real” company half day dork. I envision a solid game of Warcraft, or Halo covering the rest of your afternoon off! I know .. I KNOW it’s uncanny how right on I am about you hih?? Call me NOSTRA FUCKING DAMUS I guess!!!

Anonymous said...

This might be the funniest exchange in the history of D.C. Im not sure who wins, but there are some serious classic zingers from both Joe Nelson and this F.U, guy.

How this got tagged on to Billys story is beyond me, but makes it even funnier.

I think the next D.C.. poll should be who's funnier Joe Nelson, or The F.U. guy!

Billy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Billy said...

Derick,
I'm 90% certain its not the same Matt

Bill "Nego" Case said...

Who's funnier? The FU Guy, of course! He wins just for using the word "BOOOOOO YAAAHHHHHHH"! Do people, other than the guy on Sports Center, really use that word? He's the winner. Sorry Joe!

Jake Jacobs said...

Hey Isaac, is that Gene Wilder saying "against the grain, ALWAYS, against the grain" at the beginning of "Justice"? I've been wondering about that for close to 20 years now.

Isaac Golub said...

Not Gene Wilder. It's from the White Shadow it's the actor that plays Coach Reeves conversing with a black actor, but his name escapes me. It's the same episode and actor that does the 'sick and tired of taking all the guff' line.

Sorry I cant remember, I am drunk...






Drunk on laughter from Nelson serving Mr. FU a hearty dose of ass pounding.

fuck You! That's My Name! said...

Yeah right..Nelson didn't pound shit, unless you are talking about the WORST HARDCORE BAND OF ALL TIME- AKA THE KLLING FLAME!

NOW THAT TRAVESTY WAS DEFINITELY AN ASS POUNDING. MY GOD MAN! What were you thinking trying to sing in that band? I remember getting the CD and 30 seconds into song #1 I threw up all over myself because it was that upsetting to try and stomach. AWFUL... I MEAN AWFUL!!!

THANK GOD THAT BAND isn't playing the "cancerfest. You'd probably have "cancer research" paying you about $900 just to get you the FUCK OFF THE STAGE. YA KNOW? I FIRMLY BELIEVE THE KILLING FLAME WOULD SET BACK CAN CANCER RESEARCH BY $900 - $1000 if you tried to play!

GOD YOU ARE A FUCKING JOKE!

I mean seriously man, what do yo do in between your "big time roadie trips" with Rival Schools. your embarrissing glory days 80's stories on this thing, or your ...ummmm...singing? career. Anything? Do you even have a fucking JOB? I would bet the farm if you do, it's working at a record store, OR as like some fucking $15 an hour dickwad at a record label.

You tried to burn me for making 65k, even though I make 165k a year. I will bet you 1 weeks pay you don't even make 65K...NOT AS A "ROADIE" THATS FIR FUCKING SURE!!

You SEE ASS CLOWN when I TRAVEL THE WORLD it's not by sucking Walters dick in some dressing room. I actually pay my own way like any REAL MAN does! CRAZY RIGHT?? I also spent yesterday evening at a fine dinning steakhouse, with one the hottest girls on the planet, eating a meal that you couldn't afford in your entire FUCKING PATHETIC LIFE, unless it was by getting the "employees meal" one day!

SO keep on DREAMING about who you think I am. However just remember the person who is the BIGGEST LOSER ON THE PLANET it's the FAGGOT STARING AT YOU IN THE MIRROR EVREY DAY AS YOU SAY TO YOURSELF... "IS TODAY THE SAY I JUST SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE. HOPEFULLY ONE DAY THE ANSWER WILL BE YES!!!! THAT IS IF YOU CAN AFFORD THE GUN!

YEAH THAT"S RIGHTY WHO"S KICKING WHO"S ASS NOW?!?!?! FAGGOTS!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Fuck You! That's My Name! said...

BTW I was so busy handing Nelsons ASS TO HIM that I forgot to ask you Jake Jacobs if that picture on your profile is actually you??? Assuming teh answer is yes I need to as you this one question.

GOOGD GOD MAN WHAT DO YOU WEIGH? A BILLION LBS?

From the look of that photo it seems you need to mix in a salad between your record breaking McDonalds intake. I know I KNOW ..."WHAT'S THAT?"

Well FAGGOT that answer is below;

Salad is a mixture of cold or hot foods, usually including vegetables and/or fruits, often with a dressing, occasionally nuts or croutons, and sometimes with the addition of meat, fish, pasta, cheese, eggs, or whole grains. Salad is often served as an appetizer before a larger meal.
The word "salad" comes from the French salade of the same meaning, which in turn is from the Latin salata, "salty", from sal, "salt",

POWWWWWWWW HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW???

AAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGAAAA

Justin McMahon said...

Never a dull moment around here...

Anonymous said...

bragging about a steakhouse is such burn....

dude, in your face!!!

you guys are all homos.

except Isaac, he is sexy and when my mouth was wrapped around his big ass cock last night he blew his sticky man punch in me I was all like..."Fuck you, that's my name!!!" then.... gulp!

Let's get a salad sometime.

Anonymous said...

I can't be alone in thinking that F.U. is the funniest guy on this blog. I would love to hear him interview somebody, somehow.

Anonymous said...

WHOAA dude you make 65k a year?? WOW!!! And you went on a date to a steakhouse! No way!!!! And she was hot?!?!? YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Did you do this before or after you ran out like a pathetic little fan boy and bought Joe Nelson's latest cd?!?!?! Did you check Double Cross from dinner on your baller ass CEO edition iPhone?!?!?

Seriously, just remain anonymous. Because after your tirade, it's going to keep you safe. More than a few people will surely want to make you bite a curb if your ID is revealed...and considering IP tracking, it's really only a matter of time...so enjoy it you sperm swiller.

You are a nobody posting on here as much as you possibly can, picking a battle with a dude like Nelson who is a somebody. Maybe he didn't go to Ponderosa last night for "fine dinning" with a horse toothed tranny like you did, but he's done more cool shit in the last two hours than you have probably done in your whole life.

"BWAAAAAA he sucks Walter's dick!!!" Oh wait, you mean Walter, the same guy you probably grew up daydreaming about, wishing how you could be the victim of his own personal bukake session? The same guy who you are a nobody too? The same guy who causes YOU jealousy since he's friends with Joe and not friends with you (even though you DID request him on MySpace)?

Is it weird to have so many Daddy issues? Is it still a tender spot to think about where he used to touch and lick you? Did you talk about that last night with your date, Carl, while you were out at "fine dinning?"

Why don't you make yourself a fucking cock salad you herb. Or just keep posting...it's gonna be great to figure out who you are (and in turn what a fucking loser fruit basket you are).




Now go get your fuckin' shinebox.


-Not Joe Nelson and not even really a close friend of his, but I will beat your fucking ass for him in a heartbeat. ARRANGE IT PUSSY.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone is getting a little out of control here. After all it is Valentines Day fellas! Let's all take a deep breath and play nice.

Anonymous said...

No one, and I mean no one, misstates their own income while trying to brag about how much coin they make. FU, you lost all credibility with that one and it is clear that you are full of shit when you continue to claim that you make 165K a year.

So, how was your steak at Sizzler?

Either identify yourself or get in your Chevy Cavalier and drive far, far away.

Anonymous said...

Sizzler...?

PLATE!!!!

ASSSSAI!!!!

Jake Jacobs said...

Nelson is definitely the clear winner here.

Joe Nelson said...

The biggest burn on yourself BY yourself out of all is not the "steak dinner" comment. It's the fact that at 7:50 a.m. on a Saturday you found yourself compelled to get onto as computer and get on Double Cross. 7:50 a.m. on Saturday?? Where was the "hottest girl in the world"? sleeping still? I see it now

Hottest Girl In The World : What are you doing?

You : Just getting onto Double Cross. I really need to get those guys Joe and Jake Jacobs.

HGIW : " Huh?

You : Remember how I was telling you at dinner all about Double Cross that internet site I'm on all the time? Well I really need to go get on there again and attack Jake Jacobs. I've been thinking about that guy A LOT LATELY.

HGIW : All I remember is you showing me your ATM statement last night at dinner, which was kinda weird.

7:50 a.m. on a Saturday dude? REALLY??

NERD ALERT!!!

BTW My Straight Edge Handbook says that rule number 51-A states a "TRUE" Edgeman is also a Vegetarian. Therefore in my world you're a total "EDGEBREAKER" with your steak dinner.

CHAAAAAKKKKKAAAAA KHAAAAAAAANNNN!

Billy said...

Chaka Kahn! ? !

Joe Nelson wins. Hands down!

Tradition said...

CHAAAAAKAAAAAAAA KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

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Anonymous said...

Have to laugh at everyone talking shit on each other sounds like typical straight edgers, lol! Havin said that I moved to O.C in 86 and met guys like Dan O and Billy early on. Billy was always a cool guy and seemed a lot cooler then most of the oh so cool O.C straight edger crew who were very clique's to say the least. Joe N was a good guy as well,I miss Zed Records, lol!
Pat Grindstaff